If our experiences shape us, then what are the things that I have experienced that made me the man I am today? A lifetime of feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious has led me to be not as confident as I may appear to be. This is most likely the driver for the fitness regime I have, and the bjj, and the fact that I know this is almost my last chance at this given my rapidly advancing age.
What is it that makes me look for niche interests? Although heavy metal is global and has sold millions of records, it is a niche, and my interests still lie on the boundaries of it. Maybe not the deep underground anymore but certainly the extreme fringes. Even when I first started doing bjj there was only two places in Edinburgh doing it. Now there are waiting lists. That is mental. Maybe this comes from an early exposure to horror movies and its underground ideas. That there is more than what everyone else is watching. More to life than the obvious big budget shit. Give me more and make it real!