You must get your living by loving. I’ve never been career driven, that much is obvious. If anything I could be more so; but fuck that, I’ve got too much love to give now and my family comes first. Even now in these hard days when it’s just solo dad for most of it, it’s still an absolute privilege to be caring for my family. I love it. I live it. Obviously we must continue to be ourselves and even though my energy is zapped to close to zero, I can continue my interest in chess, and music to a certain extent, though working out has been non-existent this week. But it doesn’t matter. Getting K better, making sure the girls are ok, that’s the important bit.
We’ll get back to normal at some point. This is something my family has brought out of me, that all that superfluous shit is just what it is. Our living is not the selfish, self-centred me me me thing it once was, whether that was career driven or not. And with that change came the loving, and I’m happy, I’m contented, and I have never felt this way so much before. The focus has changed, it had to change, and I am far better off looking at my life in that way rather than one of ‘I don’t have enough time to do the shit I want…’ or similar. You get your living by loving.